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Saturday, 15 May 2004
보리밭

작사: 박화목
작곡: 윤용하

보리밭 사잇길로 걸어가면

뉘 부르는 소리 있어 나를 멈춘다.

옛 생각이 외로워 휫파람 불면

고운 노래 귓가에 들려온다.

돌아보면 아무도 보이지 않고

저녁 놀 빈 하늘만 눈에 차누나.


이 노래는 시인 박화목 선생이 고향인 황해도 사리원의 보리밭 풍경을 그린
시에 작곡가 윤용하 선생이 부산 피난 시절에 곡을 붙여 만든 노래이다.

윤용하 선생이 평소 친분이 있던 박화목 선생에게 마음을 달래줄 서정 가곡
하나 만들자고 제의한 데서 이 노래가 나왔다.

작사자가 건넨 시의 제목은 '옛 생각'이었지만, 작곡자는 이를 지금의
제목과 같은 '보리밭'이라 제목을 바꾸어 1951년에 작곡했고, 1953년에
'새로 지은 우리 노래의 밤'이라는 음악 발표회 행사에서 발표하였다.

그후 1965년 가수 문정선이 대중가요로 편곡된 음반을 내게 되어 더 널리
애창되는 계기가 되었다.

1953년작.


Posted by latkagravis at 11:55 PM EDT
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Sunday, 2 May 2004
꺼버린 핸드폰

오늘은 한달 중 제일 기다려지는 용돈 받는 날. 오늘이 더욱더 기다려진 까닭은 수학여행 준비로 용돈을 좀더 넉넉히 주시지 않을까 하는 기대 때문이었다.

하지만 나의 예상을 비웃기라도 하듯 내 손에 쥐어진 돈은 평소와 다를 바 없는 3만원. 참고서 사랴, 학용품 사랴. 정말 3만원 가지고 무얼 하라는 건지. 그리고 또 모레가 수학여행인데. 나는 용돈을 적게 주는 엄마에게 화풀이를 하고 집을 나섰다.

수학여행인데... 평소에 쓰던 가방 가져가기도 민망하고... 신발도 새로 사고 싶었는데... 내 기대는 산산조각이 나버렸다.

교실에 도착했다. 내 속을 긁기라도 하듯 내 짝꿍이 용돈 넉넉히 받았다며 친구들에게 자랑을 하고 있었다. "나 오늘 수학여행때 가져갈거 사러 가는데 같이 안갈래?"

한창 신나게 아이쇼핑을 즐기고 있을 때 마침 엄마에게서 전화가 왔다. 나는 괜히 화가 나서 전화를 받지 않았다. 한 30분 후 다시 벨이 울렸다. 엄마였다.

나는 핸드폰을 꺼버리고 밧데리까지 빼버렸다. 그리고 신나게 돌아다녔다. 집으로 돌아오는데 아침에 있었던 일이 떠올랐다. 괜히 화를 낸 것 같다. 생각해 보면 신발도 그렇게 낡은 것은 아니었고 가방은 옆집 언니에게서 빌릴 수도 있었던 것이었다. 집에 도착하면 제일 먼저 엄마에게 미안하다는 말부터 해야지…’

집에 도착했다. 벨을 누르니 아무도 나오지 않았다. 아참! 엄마가 오늘 일나가는 날이었지. 집으로 들어가자마자 습관대로 텔레비전을 켰다.

드라마가 나와야 할 시간에 뉴스가 나왔다. 뉴스 속보였다. 이게 웬일인가. 내가 자주 타는 대구 지하철에 불이 난 것이다. 어떤 남자가 지하철에 불을 냈다. 순식간에 불이 붙어 많은 사람들이 불타 죽었다는 내용의 기사가 나오고 있었다.

집에 도착했을 때부터 꽤 오랜 시간이 지났는데도 엄마는 아직 집에 도착하지 않았고 텔레비전에서는 지하철 참사에 대한 이야기가 계속해서 이어졌다. 갑자기 불안한 마음이 엄습해 왔다.

엄마에게 전화를 걸었다. 통화 연결음만 이어지고 있었다. 몇 번을 다시 걸어봐도 마찬가지였다. 불안한 마음으로 수화기를 내리고, 꺼버렸던 핸드폰을 다시 켰다.

문자 다섯 통이 와있었다. 엄마가 보낸 문자도 두통이나 있었다. 엄마가 보낸 첫 번째 문자를 열었다. "용돈 넉넉히 못 줘서 미안해. 쇼핑센터 들렀다가 집으로 가는 중이야. 신발하고 가방 샀어." 나는 첫 번째 문자를 들여다보며 눈물을 흘렸다. 다시 정신을 차리고 두려운 마음으로 두 번째 문자를 열었다.

"미안하다. 가방이랑 신발 못 전하겠어. 돈까스도 해주려고 했는데... 미안... 내 딸아... 사랑한다..."


Posted by latkagravis at 5:43 PM EDT
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Saturday, 24 April 2004
사랑의 의미

고린도전서 13장 - 1 Corinthians 13

(고전 13:1) 내가 사람의 방언과 천사의 말을 할지라도 사랑이 없으면 소리 나는 구리와 울리는 꽹과리가 되고
(고전 13:2) 내가 예언하는 능력이 있어 모든 비밀과 모든 지식을 알고 또 산을 옮길 만한 모든 믿음이 있을지라도 사랑이 없으면 내가 아무 것도 아니요
(고전 13:3) 내가 내게 있는 모든 것으로 구제하고 또 내 몸을 불사르게 내줄지라도 사랑이 없으면 내게 아무 유익이 없느니라
(고전 13:4) 사랑은 오래 참고 사랑은 온유하며 시기하지 아니하며 사랑은 자랑하지 아니하며 교만하지 아니하며
(고전 13:5) 무례히 행하지 아니하며 자기의 유익을 구하지 아니하며 성내지 아니하며 악한 것을 생각하지 아니하며
(고전 13:6) 불의를 기뻐하지 아니하며 진리와 함께 기뻐하고
(고전 13:7) 모든 것을 참으며 모든 것을 믿으며 모든 것을 바라며 모든 것을 견디느니라
(고전 13:8) 사랑은 언제까지나 떨어지지 아니하되 예언도 폐하고 방언도 그치고 지식도 폐하리라
(고전 13:9) 우리는 부분적으로 알고 부분적으로 예언하니
(고전 13:10) 온전한 것이 올 때에는 부분적으로 하던 것이 폐하리라
(고전 13:11) 내가 어렸을 때에는 말하는 것이 어린 아이와 같고 깨닫는 것이 어린 아이와 같고 생각하는 것이 어린 아이와 같다가 장성한 사람이 되어서는 어린 아이의 일을 버렸노라
(고전 13:12) 우리가 지금은 거울로 보는 것 같이 희미하나 그 때에는 얼굴과 얼굴을 대하여 볼 것이요 지금은 내가 부분적으로 아나 그 때에는 주께서 나를 아신 것 같이 내가 온전히 알리라
(고전 13:13) 그런즉 믿음, 소망, 사랑, 이 세 가지는 항상 있을 것인데 그 중의 제일은 사랑이라

Posted by latkagravis at 6:56 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 28 April 2004 4:20 AM EDT
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Sunday, 18 April 2004
왁스 - 엄마의 일기

너그럽게 웃으시는 당신에게서
따뜻한 사랑을 배웠죠
철이 없는 나를 항상 지켜주시는
하늘처럼 커보인 당신

우연히 서랍속에 숨겨둔
당신의 일기를 봤어요
나이가 먹을수록 사는게
자꾸 힘에 겨워지신다고

술에 취한 아버지와 다투시던날
잠드신줄 알았었는데
불이꺼진 부엌에서 나는 봤어요
혼자울고 계신 당신을

알아요 내앞에선 뭐든지
할 수 있는 강한 분인걸
느껴요 하지만 당신도
마음 약한 여자라는걸

알아요 내앞에선 뭐든지
할 수 있는 강한 분인걸
느껴요 하지만 당신도
마음 약한 여자라는걸

알아요 당신맘을 모두다 이해해요
믿어요 아름다운 당신을 사랑해요

이세상에 하나뿐인 소중한 당신
당신 모습 닮아갈래요

Posted by latkagravis at 6:26 PM EDT
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Saturday, 10 April 2004
Civil War Love Letter

http://www.trueinsights.com/msg/44

The Civil War Love Letter

Major Sullivan Ballou of the Union Army wrote this letter home to his wife Sarah in Smithfield, Rhode Island. It is considered to be one of history's most beautiful and moving love letters.

July 14, 1861
Camp Clark, Washington

My very dear Sarah,

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days -- perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure -- and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing -- perfectly willing -- to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows -- when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children -- is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me -- perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not return, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours -- always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or if the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters.

Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan

-----

Sullivan Ballou, age 32, was killed on the battlefield in the 1st Battle of Bull Run seven days after writing this letter.

Posted by latkagravis at 2:42 PM EDT
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Saturday, 3 April 2004
Wayne Dyer's Teddy Story

There is a story from many years ago of a primary school teacher. Her name
was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the
very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers,
she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.

But that was impossible because there in the front row, slumped in his seat,
was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't
play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he
constantly needed a bath. And, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in
marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a
big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught,
she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off
until last.

However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise, Teddy's first
grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his
work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by
his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness
and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He
tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home
life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much
interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in
class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.
She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped
in beautiful paper and tied with pretty ribbons, except for Teddy's. His
present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from
a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some
of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with
some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of
perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how
pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on
her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to
say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to."

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she
quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead she began to
teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his
mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he
responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest
children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the
children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that
she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that
he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best
teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had
been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon
graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson
that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole
life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he
explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little
further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite
teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer - the letter was
signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that
spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He
explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering
if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was
usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course Mrs. Thompson did.

And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones
missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered
his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other,
and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson
for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and
showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you
have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a
difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Posted by latkagravis at 5:52 PM EST
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Saturday, 27 March 2004
Love from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God." And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Posted by latkagravis at 10:13 AM EST
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Saturday, 20 March 2004
애국가

1절 : 동해물과 백두산이 마르고 닳도록, 하느님이 보우하사 우리나라 만세.

후렴 : 무궁화 삼천리 화려강산 대한사람 대한으로 길이 보전하세.

2절 : 남산위에 저 소나무 철갑을 두른 듯, 바람 서리 불변함은 우리 기상일세. (후렴)
3절 : 가을하늘 공활한데 높고 구름없이, 밝은 달은 우리가슴 일편단심일세. (후렴)
4절 : 이 기상과 이 맘으로 충성을 다하여 괴로우나 즐거우나 나라사랑하세. (후렴)

Posted by latkagravis at 7:47 AM EST
Updated: Saturday, 20 March 2004 7:50 AM EST
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Monday, 15 March 2004
Jewel - Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all okay
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Posted by latkagravis at 3:14 AM EST
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Wednesday, 10 March 2004
겨울 나무야!
from korean blog site


어찌 괜찮겠습니까.
입가엔 미소를 물고 있지만,
눈가엔 이슬이 맺히는 까닭을....

허물어도 허물어도
밤이면 쌓고, 다시 쌓는 만리장성

어찌 괜찮겠습니까.
버려도 버려도
먼저 돌아와 기다리는 욕망,

허물고나면,
빈 터에 남은 여유를
모르기 때문인가 봅니다.

버리고 나면
버린만큼 넓어지는
더 큰뜻을 모르기 때문인가 봅니다.

그러나
오늘이 가면
다 잊고 마는 것을.....


Posted by latkagravis at 11:42 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 11 March 2004 6:45 AM EST
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